Harper at 33 Weeks - he definitely has Tuli's nose and lips!! He's so stinking cute!!!
Me at 33 Weeks
Blood Pressure was GREAT today!
Today when I went to my acupuncture appointment, my blood pressure was only 128/86!!!! Still not "ideal," but a hell of a lot better than what it was at the Dr.'s office (155/110)!!!!
I told Kamala (my acupuncturist) that she just needs to come with me to all of my Dr.'s appointments because she is apparently the only person I can chill out and calm down with :P
My body loves acupuncture, and so does Harper. He is ALWAYS the MOST active when I am lying there on the acupuncture table. No kidding, he moves the entire 25 minutes I'm laying down "relaxing." I'm supposed to be laying there with my eyes closed, but I find myself watching my belly bounce up and down from his kicks. He likes it when Mommy can take a chill pill :)
Another thing that helped was getting a massage yesterday afternoon. Tuli treated me to a one-hour massage, and it was wonderful. The place I go to has a whole cut out for pregnant bellies, and two holes cut out on top for my ever-growing Harper-Feeders. I slept better last night, and I think that it probably helped my blood pressure reading this morning as well. AND - Tuli bought me a package deal, so I have 4 more left on my account there!!! Do I have the best Baby Daddy or what? :)
I am 33 weeks along now, but you might have noticed that I have stopped comparing Harper's size to fruits and other things like that. He's growing (slowly, but surely), and that's all that matters!! My belly is getting big, and to date, I've gained about 19 pounds. My belly is big enough to block Tuli's view of the TV when I walk past it (he really loves it when I do that), and now when we go out to eat, there are no more leftovers for us to take home. I eat about as much as Tuli eats during a meal now, which is pretty crazy because I've always been a "nibbler." My Mom says I have always "eaten like a bird." Now I think I'm more like a vulture :)
One of my best friends, Cathy, is throwing me a baby shower on Saturday for all of my friends who live in Eugene, plus my Mom. I'm excited for Harper's first party!! It will be nice to have a stress-free party in mine and Harper's honor. I'm kind of dying for some social interaction these days - talking to my cat and teddy bear all day is nice and everything, but I wouldn't mind some girl time with my friends :) I'm very excited too because my friend Courtney (the one who helped save the world by helping Barack get elected) will be in town for it!! Yayaaaaah!!!!
I told Kamala (my acupuncturist) that she just needs to come with me to all of my Dr.'s appointments because she is apparently the only person I can chill out and calm down with :P
My body loves acupuncture, and so does Harper. He is ALWAYS the MOST active when I am lying there on the acupuncture table. No kidding, he moves the entire 25 minutes I'm laying down "relaxing." I'm supposed to be laying there with my eyes closed, but I find myself watching my belly bounce up and down from his kicks. He likes it when Mommy can take a chill pill :)
Another thing that helped was getting a massage yesterday afternoon. Tuli treated me to a one-hour massage, and it was wonderful. The place I go to has a whole cut out for pregnant bellies, and two holes cut out on top for my ever-growing Harper-Feeders. I slept better last night, and I think that it probably helped my blood pressure reading this morning as well. AND - Tuli bought me a package deal, so I have 4 more left on my account there!!! Do I have the best Baby Daddy or what? :)
I am 33 weeks along now, but you might have noticed that I have stopped comparing Harper's size to fruits and other things like that. He's growing (slowly, but surely), and that's all that matters!! My belly is getting big, and to date, I've gained about 19 pounds. My belly is big enough to block Tuli's view of the TV when I walk past it (he really loves it when I do that), and now when we go out to eat, there are no more leftovers for us to take home. I eat about as much as Tuli eats during a meal now, which is pretty crazy because I've always been a "nibbler." My Mom says I have always "eaten like a bird." Now I think I'm more like a vulture :)
One of my best friends, Cathy, is throwing me a baby shower on Saturday for all of my friends who live in Eugene, plus my Mom. I'm excited for Harper's first party!! It will be nice to have a stress-free party in mine and Harper's honor. I'm kind of dying for some social interaction these days - talking to my cat and teddy bear all day is nice and everything, but I wouldn't mind some girl time with my friends :) I'm very excited too because my friend Courtney (the one who helped save the world by helping Barack get elected) will be in town for it!! Yayaaaaah!!!!
Harper's Growth Update
For those of you who don't know, one of the reasons we picked the name Harper was after one of our favorite musicians, Ben Harper. I have been a Ben fan for about 10 years now...he is an amazing musician, and he really has a lot of inspirational lyrics.
This picture was taken with my cell phone at a Ben Harper concert Tuli and I went to last year.
We had another Dr. appointment yesterday with Dr. Katz. Our midwife, Colleen, came with us as well. Last time we visited Dr. Katz, Harper was measuring small, in the 35th percentile. Unfortunately, as of yesterday, he was measuring even smaller :( His head and arms are measuring right on track (and he's got a head full of hair), but his torso and his legs are measuring too small for how far along I am. This is due to my high blood pressure.
The high blood pressure I'm having is a result of a combination of things. First, I have some issues with anxiety, which is nothing new. All of the extra weight I'm carrying around makes me feel claustrophobic in my own body...like I'm trapped in a sense. Plus, with all this new information about Harper being small for his gestational age, I'm anxious thinking (or trying NOT to think) about that. There is also evidence from my medical charts that I suffered from hypertension long before I ever got pregnant.
The high blood pressure is what is causing Harper to have some growth restrictions. It's honestly difficult for me to NOT blame myself, even though everyone keeps telling me that it's not my fault, that it's just how my body is wired. I'm just not wired to handle stress like a normal pregnant woman. It is still a difficult thing for me to accept - I've never wanted anything more than to be a mother...and I feel like I'm failing yet again at something important in life. I feel broken.
So, here is the breakdown, according to Dr. Katz and Colleen:
I will most likely NOT make it to my due date (January 29th).
I will most likely develop preeclampsia, or toxemia.
There's a good chance I will be induced early (this doesn't have to mean induced with drugs...there are natural ways to induce as well, which I will try first obviously...).
If my blood pressure gets extremely high, or I develop other symptoms of preeclampsia, I could have a baby tomorrow...or the next day.
Anything extremely early would result in a hospital birth.
In the meantime....
I'm continuing to do EVERYTHING they tell me to: acupucture, massage, eating healthy foods that are supposed to help high blood pressure, taking a mixture of herbs and vitamins, staying off of work, and not doing ANYTHING that would cause me anxiety.
I have accepted that I might give birth in the hospital...I want whatever will keep Harper the healthiest. The thing I cannot bear to think about is him coming early enough, that he would have to spend days, or weeks, in the NICU. I do not want to spend Xmas visiting my baby at the hospital. I want to be able to hold him as soon as I birth him.
This being said...if I seem short/distant with anyone, it's simply because I don't want to re-hash all of the things I'm worried about to numerous people. It just doesn't help...What I DO need from people are encouraging words, understanding and patience (not horror stories...trust me, these are already swimming around in my head). I will keep everyone updated on this blog, but other than my family, I really need to focus on NOT talking about all of this negative stuff. Know that I love all of you, but I do have to set boundaries for my health...but more importantly, for Harper's health.
The good news is that if he was to be born now, he has a 99% chance of survival. He has 2 arms, and 2 legs. 10 fingers and 10 toes. He has his Daddy's lips and nose, and he's very active. He got an 8/8 on the movement/oxygen test. He only weighs 3.5 pounds right now due to the hypertension/growth restriction issue...but this is his/my only struggle right now. Every day and week that I can remain calm, and he can remain inside of my belly, is good for him. We want him to get chubby!!!
So, back to the Ben Harper thing...Colleen has suggested I hang up positive affirmations everywhere I can see them - to help me not focus on worrying. My mantra is going to be from a Ben Harper song:
I can't spend the rest of my pregnancy worrying. I can only continue to take care of myself, and love that growing baby inside of my womb. Worrying will only make things worse...I can't fear the unknown...I need to embrace this experience for everything it has taught me, and for the beautiful baby boy I will be able to hold very soon.
This picture was taken with my cell phone at a Ben Harper concert Tuli and I went to last year.
We had another Dr. appointment yesterday with Dr. Katz. Our midwife, Colleen, came with us as well. Last time we visited Dr. Katz, Harper was measuring small, in the 35th percentile. Unfortunately, as of yesterday, he was measuring even smaller :( His head and arms are measuring right on track (and he's got a head full of hair), but his torso and his legs are measuring too small for how far along I am. This is due to my high blood pressure.
The high blood pressure I'm having is a result of a combination of things. First, I have some issues with anxiety, which is nothing new. All of the extra weight I'm carrying around makes me feel claustrophobic in my own body...like I'm trapped in a sense. Plus, with all this new information about Harper being small for his gestational age, I'm anxious thinking (or trying NOT to think) about that. There is also evidence from my medical charts that I suffered from hypertension long before I ever got pregnant.
The high blood pressure is what is causing Harper to have some growth restrictions. It's honestly difficult for me to NOT blame myself, even though everyone keeps telling me that it's not my fault, that it's just how my body is wired. I'm just not wired to handle stress like a normal pregnant woman. It is still a difficult thing for me to accept - I've never wanted anything more than to be a mother...and I feel like I'm failing yet again at something important in life. I feel broken.
So, here is the breakdown, according to Dr. Katz and Colleen:
I will most likely NOT make it to my due date (January 29th).
I will most likely develop preeclampsia, or toxemia.
There's a good chance I will be induced early (this doesn't have to mean induced with drugs...there are natural ways to induce as well, which I will try first obviously...).
If my blood pressure gets extremely high, or I develop other symptoms of preeclampsia, I could have a baby tomorrow...or the next day.
Anything extremely early would result in a hospital birth.
In the meantime....
I'm continuing to do EVERYTHING they tell me to: acupucture, massage, eating healthy foods that are supposed to help high blood pressure, taking a mixture of herbs and vitamins, staying off of work, and not doing ANYTHING that would cause me anxiety.
I have accepted that I might give birth in the hospital...I want whatever will keep Harper the healthiest. The thing I cannot bear to think about is him coming early enough, that he would have to spend days, or weeks, in the NICU. I do not want to spend Xmas visiting my baby at the hospital. I want to be able to hold him as soon as I birth him.
This being said...if I seem short/distant with anyone, it's simply because I don't want to re-hash all of the things I'm worried about to numerous people. It just doesn't help...What I DO need from people are encouraging words, understanding and patience (not horror stories...trust me, these are already swimming around in my head). I will keep everyone updated on this blog, but other than my family, I really need to focus on NOT talking about all of this negative stuff. Know that I love all of you, but I do have to set boundaries for my health...but more importantly, for Harper's health.
The good news is that if he was to be born now, he has a 99% chance of survival. He has 2 arms, and 2 legs. 10 fingers and 10 toes. He has his Daddy's lips and nose, and he's very active. He got an 8/8 on the movement/oxygen test. He only weighs 3.5 pounds right now due to the hypertension/growth restriction issue...but this is his/my only struggle right now. Every day and week that I can remain calm, and he can remain inside of my belly, is good for him. We want him to get chubby!!!
So, back to the Ben Harper thing...Colleen has suggested I hang up positive affirmations everywhere I can see them - to help me not focus on worrying. My mantra is going to be from a Ben Harper song:
Don't fear what you don't know
Just let that be
Your room to grow
Just let that be
Your room to grow
I can't spend the rest of my pregnancy worrying. I can only continue to take care of myself, and love that growing baby inside of my womb. Worrying will only make things worse...I can't fear the unknown...I need to embrace this experience for everything it has taught me, and for the beautiful baby boy I will be able to hold very soon.
Baby Dreams
I just want to write some of these crazy dreams down, so I don't forget about them:
First of all....Tuli has had two baby dreams.
#1 - He dreamed that we were at home, and I was in labor. He turned his head, and while he was doing that, I gave birth and didn't tell him, so he wasn't able to catch Harper.
#2 - He dreamed that he was at work, while I was at home laboring. In the dream, nobody at work told him to come home, or that I was in labor, so he missed the birth of Harper again.
Don't worry honey...you will be WELL aware when it's time!!!!!! :)
OK, most of my dreams are good ones....ones where I am usually breastfeeding with great success! The last one I had, I was breastfeeding Harper, and he started coughing, so I pulled away from him, and he spit up all over Tuli :) Even though Tuli would probably not agree, it was a really cute dream.
In the last 2-3 baby dreams, I've been able to see that Harper has big, rosy lips, Tuli's nose, and black straight hair. I wonder if that's what he'll really look like?!
Oh, and it wasn't baby-related, but I also had a dream recently where my Mom had her private pilot's license, and she was flying us back from a vacation in Alaska. hahahahaha
First of all....Tuli has had two baby dreams.
#1 - He dreamed that we were at home, and I was in labor. He turned his head, and while he was doing that, I gave birth and didn't tell him, so he wasn't able to catch Harper.
#2 - He dreamed that he was at work, while I was at home laboring. In the dream, nobody at work told him to come home, or that I was in labor, so he missed the birth of Harper again.
Don't worry honey...you will be WELL aware when it's time!!!!!! :)
OK, most of my dreams are good ones....ones where I am usually breastfeeding with great success! The last one I had, I was breastfeeding Harper, and he started coughing, so I pulled away from him, and he spit up all over Tuli :) Even though Tuli would probably not agree, it was a really cute dream.
In the last 2-3 baby dreams, I've been able to see that Harper has big, rosy lips, Tuli's nose, and black straight hair. I wonder if that's what he'll really look like?!
Oh, and it wasn't baby-related, but I also had a dream recently where my Mom had her private pilot's license, and she was flying us back from a vacation in Alaska. hahahahaha
Harper Has Cool Grandparents
Thanks Yous are in order!!!!
Thank you to Grandma KJ for sending me and Harper boxes of clothes!!! She's so thoughtful to be looking out for us all the way from WI!
Thank you to Grandpa Healy for bringing us a dresser! It fits in our room perfectly, and it definitely helped us get more organized!!!
...and thank you to Grammy Catherine for helping us clean out Harper's room yesterday. She was here for about 5 hours helping us sort through boxes, making Goodwill trips, and she also bought us some shelving. I can't tell you how much better I feel being able to walk into Harper's room!!!
We still have plenty of work to do to get ready for Harper's arrival...but Tuli and I feel sooooo much better knowing we have a nice dresser, clothes for the baby, and room for baby stuff in Harper's room! Harper is lucky to have such great family...all over the US!!! Now, we just need to figure out when Grandpa Dave is going to come visit!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow is our follow up appointment with Dr. Katz...keep Harper and me in your thoughts...send good thoughts of low blood pressure my way!!!! :)
Thank you to Grandma KJ for sending me and Harper boxes of clothes!!! She's so thoughtful to be looking out for us all the way from WI!
Thank you to Grandpa Healy for bringing us a dresser! It fits in our room perfectly, and it definitely helped us get more organized!!!
...and thank you to Grammy Catherine for helping us clean out Harper's room yesterday. She was here for about 5 hours helping us sort through boxes, making Goodwill trips, and she also bought us some shelving. I can't tell you how much better I feel being able to walk into Harper's room!!!
BEFORE
AFTER
We still have plenty of work to do to get ready for Harper's arrival...but Tuli and I feel sooooo much better knowing we have a nice dresser, clothes for the baby, and room for baby stuff in Harper's room! Harper is lucky to have such great family...all over the US!!! Now, we just need to figure out when Grandpa Dave is going to come visit!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow is our follow up appointment with Dr. Katz...keep Harper and me in your thoughts...send good thoughts of low blood pressure my way!!!! :)
Aunt Courtney!
I'm not feeling much like writing right now, but I had to share the adorable picture that Tuli took of me and Courtney last night....it's definitely one of my favorites of all time!
Gracias a mi amor....
I love you.
Thank you for making me feel beautiful, even when I feel like a house.
Thank you for getting me a Gatorade from the fridge when I feel like I can't get up from the couch by myself.
Thank you for being strong in my weak moments.
Thank you for making me laugh, and for laughing at my jokes.
Thank you for telling me everything's OK, when hormones take over
my body.
Thank you for kissing my belly.
Thank you for pushing me to be a better person.
Thank you for all the feet and shoulder rubs.
Thank you for letting me wear your clothes because mine don't
fit anymore.
Thank you for helping around the house.
Thank you for being the best partner I could ever ask for!
Thank
my body.
fit anymo
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